INFP – The Idealist

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Portrait

INFPs are values-focused and dedicate their lives to following an ideal. They are often called upon to bring people together around a common project and ensure that everyone finds their place in the group. Creative, they are constantly looking for new ideas or possibilities. They move quietly towards what is important to them and rarely abandon their goal. Despite their moderation and their delightful sense of humor, they are difficult to fully understand what could lead others to neglect them. It is when they work to make reality conform to their aspirations that they express their temperament best.

INFPs are calm, flexible, and easy-going people. They follow their inner values, and while they can be open to new ideas, they can become intractable when one of their core values feels violated.

They have a very rich inner life and a complex sentimentality. It can sometimes be difficult to understand them, because they tend to keep their feelings and passionate convictions secret, which they share only with a small handful of close friends.

INFPs are the most idealistic of the Idealists, and of all types in general. They focus on the need to improve the world for human beings. Their primary motivation is to find meaning in their lives. What is their mission, their calling? How can they best serve humanity? Idealists and perfectionists, they spare no effort to achieve the goal they have set for themselves.

INFPs have a powerful psychological intuition, which they rely on heavily for guidance, constantly searching for the value of life through their discoveries. Finding the truth and meaning behind things is their “mission,” so to speak. Every encounter, every piece of knowledge is sifted through their internal value system, to assess whether it can help refine or redefine their life path. But the end goal always remains the same—the INFP is driven by the need to help people and make the world a better place to live.

Reasonable and considerate, the INFP is a good listener and a good way to put others at ease. Although often reserved in expressing their emotions, their attentiveness is deep and they are genuinely eager to understand others. This sincerity is perceived by others, making them a valued friend and confidant. The INFP can be warm to those they know well.

He dislikes conflict, and is able to go to great lengths to avoid it. When confronted with conflict, he will always perceive the situation through his feelings. He gives little importance to who is right or wrong, but rather focuses on what he feels, without really worrying about whether he is right. He does not like to feel negative emotions, which can lead him to react irrationally or illogically in the event of a conflict situation. On the other hand, INFPs make excellent mediators when they are not personally involved, given their ability to intuitively understand each other's motivations and feelings, and their genuine willingness to help.

INFPs are fairly easygoing and laid-back types, at least as long as the values they hold dear are not violated. Because when they do, they can become aggressive and passionate advocates for their cause. Once an INFP has adopted a task or project that they are committed to, it is a "cause" in their eyes. While they are not particularly detail-oriented, they are capable of taking on every detail with determination and vigor when working for their cause.

On the other hand, when it comes to the prosaic aspects of everyday life, they are typically and totally disconnected from it. For example, they can go months without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously clean a speck of dust on their diary...

INFPs do not like having to worry about real facts and logic. Their attention being focused on their feelings and on the human condition, it is difficult for them to judge impersonally. They do not understand the usefulness of objectivity or do not believe in it, it is an area in which they are generally ineffective. Hence the reluctance of a majority of them to use logic in their analyses, even if some have developed this faculty and their capacity to use it. On the other hand, under the effect of stress or anger, INFPs can show a surprising tendency to use and abuse ruthless logic, throwing one after another (often inaccurate) facts on the carpet in a real emotional outburst.

INFPs have high standards and are perfectionists. They can be too hard on themselves, not giving themselves enough credit. They may also find it difficult to work on a project within a group, given that their standards are likely to be higher than those of other members. Issues of "control" are likely to cause them some problems within a group setting. They will need to balance their high ideals with the necessities of daily life. Until this issue is resolved, they may struggle to find satisfaction and may even become confused and paralyzed about their life choices.

They often make talented writers. As awkward and clumsy as they can be in speaking, they have an extraordinary ability to define and express their feelings in writing. They are also frequently found in social services, or in counseling and training professions. Anything that involves working for the public good without resorting too directly to logic suits them.

Those who have succeeded in developing the best of their qualities are able to accomplish truly prodigious things, for which they will rarely give themselves credit. Among them are the greatest catalysts of humanity.

The values that INFPs believe in are strictly personal to them. They are the result of their own research and not of dogmas or rules imposed from outside that they abhor and that they can even take malicious pleasure in contradicting. All this means that sometimes the originality of their approach is ignored and their contribution underestimated. Moreover, social recognition generally matters little to them; on the other hand, they like their feelings and ideals to be recognized.

INFPs have an open mind, imaginative and flexible. Learning more, continuing to evolve is second nature to them. This curiosity combined with their high demand for ideals often makes them perfectionists.

An INFP will pay attention to every detail of a job until every element is perfect and coheres with the whole.

INFPs' flexibility reaches its limit when their core values are violated or at risk of being violated. They can then be intransigent, even rigid in their positions because they hold to their ideals.

INFPs learn well when what they study makes sense to them, fits their ideal, even if the chosen field is not the most suited to their abilities.

Sometimes their idealism can turn into fanaticism and a refusal to take into account elements that go against their values. Conversely, this concern for perfection can lead them to never conclude; if they are not pushed by imperative deadlines, INFPs may not complete the preparation phase of a work. And if the preparatory phase motivates them strongly, the application leaves them more indifferent; they can then lack rigor in the implementation.

Finally, in their search for perfection and harmony, INFPs may not know how to say no to requests made of them and may let themselves be eaten up, even if it means feeling guilty or being temporarily saturated by those who have abused their time.

When faced with abstract logic, the INFP's mind can flounder. What seems simple to others becomes a difficult obstacle for the INFP to overcome, their brain faculties, often very lively otherwise, seeming to block. The INFP can thus develop complicated reasoning to which they will give an appearance of logic to justify their subjective values or they will seek to be right at all costs.

It is important for them to listen to their own needs, to their inner feelings. They will have a concrete contact there that will signal to them when they have exceeded their own limits and which will in particular indicate to them when it becomes imperative to say no.

INFPs have every interest in taking care of their body, watching their diet, their lifestyle; they can also find the material means to express their artistic creativity which is great, music, painting, dance, ...

Career

The INFP is a special and sensitive personality who needs a calling more than a "job". INFPs need to feel that everything they do in their lives is in line with their powerful internal value system and that their activity allows them to engage in a positive evolutionary process. They seek deep meaning in their activities. They will therefore feel at their best in ways that allow them to express their values and work for the good of humanity. It is worth noting that almost all the world's great writers belong to this typology.

Possible careers

Writers

Social workers

Teachers / Professors

Psychologists

Psychiatrists

Musicians

Relationships

INFPs appear to be calm and pleasant people. Quiet and peaceful, with simple desires. But in fact, their inner life is extremely intense, which grants them an ability to love and care for others in their private relationships, with a depth not found in all typologies. Selective in their attachments, they are relatively reserved when it comes to expressing their intimate feelings. They reserve their deepest affection for a small handful of close ones. Generally easy-going and able to support those they love, their "introverted feeling" function makes them very receptive to the feelings of others. Cautious and slow to trust at the beginning of a relationship, they are fiercely loyal once committed. Given the powerful value system at the core of their identity, they are passionate individuals who place a particular importance on depth and authenticity in relationships. Those who respect their basic ideals attract their esteem. Although generally flexible and accommodating, they can surprisingly become extremely rigid, harsh and intolerant when someone does not respect what they value.

Highlights

• Warm and attentive to the well-being of others
•  Sensitive and perceptive to the feelings of others
•  Loyal and committed – They value long-term relationships
•  Deep capacity to love and care for others
•  Looking for balanced relationships
•  Able to support and encourage
•  Know how to understand and respect the freedom and individuality of the partner
•  They know how to express themselves well
•  Flexible and adaptable

Weak points

• Tendency to be shy and reserved
•  They don't like their private space, their privacy, to be invaded.
•  Do not tolerate conflict well
•  Do not tolerate criticism well
•  Strong need to receive appreciation and encouragement
•  Overly emotional reactions in stressful situations
•  Difficulty leaving a harmful relationship
•  Difficulty reprimanding or punishing
•  Too much reserve in the expression of feelings
•  Too perfectionistic, which can lead them to be constantly dissatisfied with themselves
•  Tendency to feel responsible for problems, to carry the world on their shoulders

Romantic relationships

INFPs exhibit quite extraordinary commitment and loyalty in their relationships. With the Feeling function dominant, harmony and warm feelings are essential to their well-being. If they are not in a relationship that fits these criteria, they are invested in either searching for one or creating one in their imagination.

Their idealistic and romantic tendencies easily lead them to fantasize about a more “perfect” relationship or situation. They may also idealize their partner, attributing qualities to them that they do not possess in reality. Most INFPs have difficulty reconciling their highly idealistic views with everyday reality, which leads them to feel constant dissatisfaction with themselves and their intimate relationship. Nevertheless, their deep and sincere love, as well as their horror of conflict, makes them loyal to their commitments, despite their difficulty in finding inner serenity.

This tendency to put their partner on a pedestal, however, is not detrimental to the relationship, unlike what can happen with other types inclined to the same dispositions. Indeed, INFPs actively and constantly work to maintain their ideal. Their ability to be affectionate, positive and proud of their partner therefore stands the test of time.

Although they are not very interested in household or administrative tasks, they do know how to live up to their obligations when they are called upon to do so. If they want to, they can be good managers.

Sexually, INFPs are slow to feel confident with their partner. But once they have, they see sexual intimacy as an opportunity to express their deepest feelings. They value the sweet words and the exchange of loving feelings more than the sexual act itself. Given their pleasure in serving the other, they are probably more attentive to the partner's satisfaction than to their own.

The major pitfall they may encounter is in fact their intense aversion to conflict and criticism. And they have a certain propensity to feel criticized personally, even when this is not the case. The slightest disagreement is perceived as a personal aggression, their response then becomes singularly irrational and emotional. This type of difficulty is particularly evident in their relationships with individuals who belong to the Thinking and Judging (TJ) categories. The latter in fact have an objective and assertive approach that frequently leads them to express opinions on any subject. In the case of a negative opinion, the TJ's attitude can seem aggressive to the INFP, who then reacts emotionally with a vague but accentuated impression that he is in some way responsible for this negativity.

For INFPs whose Intuition (N) function has not been sufficiently developed to counterbalance the effects of the Feeling (F) function, this tendency can portend many clouds in an intimate relationship. Their extreme emotional distress when disagreements occur prevents them from responding effectively. Finding no way out of the conflict, they tend to react abruptly and aggressively, or to use subversive tactics such as guilt-tripping to manipulate their partner and obtain the positive support they crave. But this type of behavior is not exactly beneficial to the longevity and health of a relationship. Those who identify with this tendency will need to work on developing their ability to accept criticism objectively and not personally. They should try to remember that arguments are not always their fault, nor do they necessarily mean the end of the world. They are a part of life, and the best way to eradicate them is to confront disagreement when it arises, rather than having to deal with it later by force of circumstance once the problem has become too big.

Because they value their freedom and their private garden, INFPs know how to respect those of others. It is with a partner who is able to take them as they are, by accepting their lifestyle and their particular opinions, that they have the best chances of getting along. Jealousy and possessiveness are not part of their way of loving, which allows them not only to respect the independence and private space of their partner, but also to support him or her firmly and loyally in his or her projects.

For the INFP, love is about total commitment, so it's hard to achieve. They're meticulous about comparing reality to their ideals. "I waited until I was 30 to get married, and even then I was dissatisfied with not finding perfection," confesses one INFP. "Until I realized I could help make that ideal come to me, rather than waiting for it to come to me."

Given their firmly held ideal, INFPs carefully prepare and organize the first date with their beloved, paying particular attention to aesthetic details: the bouquet of flowers is in its place, the right bottle of wine is opened, and the ad hoc menu has been ordered.

INFPs have difficulty talking about their feelings. They are even so reserved that they can forget to communicate their love to their partner, but they need proof of love from their partner.

When there are problems in the relationship, INFPs are deeply affected but have a hard time accepting to discuss the problems and reveal what they feel. They take rejection very badly and tend to react to it in an overly emotional way.

In summary, INFPs are therefore positive and loving partners, the quality of the relationship being a primordial point in their existence. Prudent and cautious in the beginning, they then commit firmly and loyally over time. They take their relationships very seriously and are likely to make great efforts to make them harmonious.

This is particularly true of the type ENFJ that INFPs have the best chance of finding happiness.

As parents

The INFP is a “natural” parent. Comfortable in this role, he sees it as a normal extension of his value system: it is through his children that he plans to perpetuate his ideals. Very responsible in his parental role, he is generally a warm, encouraging and flexible father or mother, which makes him a rather easy-going parent.

His refusal to accept conflict leads him to develop a flexible and diversified approach. He is not fundamentally inclined to exercise his authority through punishment or discipline, and readily defers to his partner in these areas. In the event that the other member of the couple is absent or cannot, in some way, assume his disciplinary role, the INFP will have to make a conscious effort to provide his children with a firm structure on which they can develop.

But while he doesn't like to punish, the INFP doesn't tolerate his fundamental values being disrespected. In this case, he doesn't hesitate to exercise discipline and to nudge his child by demanding a change in attitude.

Respectful of the identity and personality of his children, he ensures that they are given a full place as individuals in the family organization. He becomes a loyal and courageous protector when it comes to defending his offspring, and he is the first to take his child's side if necessary.

Typically, their children remember them as a flexible, patient, devoted and loving parent.

As friends

Warm and attentive, the INFP values authenticity and depth in relationships. Often open to the motivations and feelings of others, he is capable of getting along well with all sorts of individuals. But he only reveals his deep and true self to a small handful of people, in the context of close and lasting friendships. He is generally drawn to those with whom he can share his ideals, Intuition-Feeling (NF) types like himself.

The need for harmony and the refusal of conflicts make it less easy for him to get along with types strongly marked by the thinking (T) and judging (J) functions. Even if he shows himself capable of working with these types, he is probably not inclined to appreciate them on a personal level.

It is often with other feeling types (F) that he feels on the same wavelength.

Their confidants and friends view INFPs as sincere, altruistic, deep, caring, and original people.

Financial independence

INFPs, with their creativity, warmth, sensitivity and ideals, have no interest in financial independence.

But INFPs are always interested in new ideas. If that's you, I've selected for you here some reference books on financial independence, the stock market and dividends. You can also exchange with other members on the forum. Finally, if you want to keep up to date on the topic of financial independence, sign up for free at the dividendes.ch newsletter (with E-Book "The magic number as a bonus).

Kind Big Five - OCEAN the closest: RCUAI, RLUAI

Source : http://www.personalitypage.com